When it comes to psoriasis dating, fear of rejection is probably going to be your greatest enemy. If you’re relatively new to psoriasis, then it may even be scarier because you’ve not had that long to gain the self-assurance you need to present yourself with that confidence that attracts another to you.
Thankfully, you are not alone and there are plenty of people who have successfully dealt with psoriasis dating and are now happily in a relationship with someone who is not only understanding but supportive. Of course to help a potential partner understand what you’re going through you’re going to have to first open up and explain about your condition.
While the ideal scenario would be for your love interest to have had a parent or sibling with psoriasis and already know that it’s not contagious and to be familiar with the appearance and flares…that’s probably not going to happen. And unless your psoriasis patches are on your face or hands, you might actually be able to hide your condition and let the relationship develop.
If your patches are not easy to hide, you may actually have the timing factor taken out of your control. Then the best thing is to explain it, similar to how this one woman did: “my immune system is misreading things and my body is producing more skin cells than it should.” Then explain that it is not contagious and a little bit about what causes it.
However, if your outbreaks are easily hidden, and you’re not spending your dates going swimming, then you might be able to give the relationship a chance to grow. Of course, before you get intimate, you will need to explain your condition. Let the person ask questions and even touch the plaques.
When you begin explaining your condition, don’t forget to go into how psoriasis affects your ability to participate in certain activities. Let the person know that there may be some activities which require clothing that would expose your condition, which you would prefer not to participate in.
If they are still listening, then move into what causes your condition to flare; stress, certain foods, allergies, etc. Educate them on the common symptoms of psoriasis and what type of treatment plan you are following.
If you are currently in remission, then it is even more important that you explain about psoriasis flares. Remember this is part of your life, and for better or worse, will be part of your partner’s life if your relationship progresses that far.
At some point before the two of you hop into bed, you are going to need to have “THE TALK”, the one about how flare symptoms can play havoc with your libido and ability to enjoy sex. In fact, explain that up to two-thirds of people with psoriasis experience problems during sex due to their condition.
Make sure your partner understands that when you are experiencing flares, with the accompanying pain and discomfort, that you are not rejecting him/her. Explain that while you may want to be intimate, there may be times during active flares where you are just unable to do so.
Of course in the world of specialized online dating, there are those dating sites that cater to those who have psoriasis. Knowing that a potential partner is also dealing with the same condition, can often ease you past the awkward first stage and immediately give you something in common.
Whatever you do, don’t lose your sense of humor. Learn to laugh and look for the humor in the small incidences surrounding your condition. If you can laugh, you’ll not only lower your stress level and reduce the chance of a flare, but you will also exude a confidence that will draw people to you.